prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2001-10-25 - 2:01 p.m.
~~Memo for the " supposedly " heterosexual males of the world or if you really must know, direct message to my friend's clodlike oaf of a boyfriend ~~
So, I know this is unconventional, but I think it is long overdue. Boys, hold onto your sock puppets, there's a new power in town, and this one is not ruled by the Taliban. Au contraire. I am talking about something you may have heard about, but very few of you truly understand. The Female Clitoris. That's right, I said it. ( of course now we all know that I am going to hell and my mother is frantically on her knees trying to send a novena to God via his Almighty PalmPilot ) but I am glad I said it. I may even say it again. The female Clitoris ROCKS. She is POWERFUL. You should be on YOUR knees bowing down to her, and quite frankly maybe if you took the time to get to know her, she might even bestow special gifts upon you, too ( you total clueless oaf). Now don't be shy. Just because you are the inferiour of the species, we still need you ( for now! mwahhahahahaaaaa) to fertilize our damn eggs ( although most of us prefer them unfertilized, THANK you very much, that is until further notice) At ease, soldier!
If you take the time to seek her out, you will be richly rewarded. In fact, she is known to give alot back, in deep gratitude for copious amounts of affection that you might lavish upon her. She is a bit reclusive, but what do you expect ? You will have to be clever, and find a way to woo her. Yes, this means you will need the blood flow to actually go to your brain for a change. But before you fret, and throw your hands up in the air, and say you can't possibly undertake such a tempermental diva, let me assure you, she is very solicitious. Here's all you have to do.
When you pull up to the gates of her house, make yourself known. She will let you know if you are allowed to enter through the gates. She might not make an appearance right away, you should seek her out, even offer a little kiss. If she is shy, you must try to manoever a little more quickly and let her know you desire her so. Without going into too much detail, and to help you maintain bloodflow to your brain, I am going to gloss over the rest of your ' visit " with her. I am sure you get the picture. Now, if she lets you into her HOUSE, this is not permission to ignore HER. You are a guest, and as such, you are expected to still entertain her, even while enjoying the stunning view from her balcony.If you must think about other chicks while visiting her, keep this to yourself ( you BASTARD !!) Warning, this may result in total dismantling of the family jewels. Well, I could go into even more abstract metaphor mode, but i can see that some of you more neandrathal readers, are lost.
What am I talking about ? I will tell you. We need more than just plain old thrusting. Save that move for the amish. I am sure they are easily impressed, but we modern chicks want more! The silmataneous orgasm is almost as much of a myth as Michael Jackson's Marriage to Lisa Marie Presley. If you are lucky enough to be doing a horizontal limbo with a lovely lass, maybe you should put a little effort into it. Now don't take the lame way out and say it is too much pressure. No ! NO ! NO! If you do it right, you have the ability to rock her world , which should in essence rock your sick little porno filled mind. Don't you want your chick to truly GET OFF because of you ? I mean, we can "take care of things" ourselves, we are used to finishing ourselves off when you get up to make yourself a sandwich, or even worse, totally faking it, which no self respecting chick should ever try. Girls, claim your orgasms! Boys, show your chicks that you have the skills to send them into an orbit of total bliss ( Houston we have a POWER SURGE)
So, this is my simple advice to you. That is all for now, resume your normal bloodflow patterns.
soooo, who wants to do Calculus equations now ?
old starlight - new starbright
Click here to read the WendChymes archives
Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!
(C) wendchymes 2008
