prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08

2002-06-08 - 1:48 p.m.

waltz of words ~ click here to find the beginning~

dear K

Thanks for whispering to me, last night. I was so very tired, when the alarm went off this morning, but it was worth it.

My night was dreamfilled, yet I awoke with a strange lingering fear. What if my heart is a cannibal? What if it has layers and layers of tiny bones? the many victims of my inability to let go. or rather, the ghosts of all of those that have gone ( and left) before.

how do I stop it from happening again? Shall I string my life with seashells and wear them resignedly as a memory? to answer your question, yes, I do dance alone.

and I eat mint chocolate chip ice cream,

s l o w l y

from a long silver spoon, while sitting upon the edge of the turquoise swimming pool.The moonlight dances against the reflection, a tango of shimmering lights fighting with one another for attention. I dip my long bare legs into the liquid, my nightgown falling into a puddle of disarray, between my knees. The coolness of the water helps me to not feel the hiss of the arid nighttime air. My toes are brightly painted, and blurred. The portion of leg that is under water, seems so distanced from the rest of me. I stare at it, trying to make sense of the muted shapes. The coloured toenails are electric blue eyes staring back at me. I have only two choices, pull out or slide in.

so,

I gently place the bowl of melting ice cream down, and slip into the water. The chill causes an immediate shiver, and my white linen nightdress swirls around my head like a halo of waterlilies. I dive back under the water, shedding my nightgown, breaking free of sound and weight and gravity. Beneath the glittering skin of the water, I am happy. It is the return to freedom, the water womb from whence we all came. I slice through the hyacinth blueness and resurface at the other end. My nightdress still floating, closing and opening silently, like the insatiable mouth of a clam. I can see the ripples, of where I once was. I can touch where I am. I can go back. or I can go under. There are steps that lead out, but none that go deeper. This is the whole of the ocean trying to fit into a puddle.

The world can not contain me. I can not even contain myself. I think I am overflowing.

I am

~o v e r f l o w i n g ~.

send me an echo. send me your intrigue.

everything tastes like poetry

and suddenly, whereever I look,

there are flickering fireflies winking at me.

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