prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2002-07-11 - 7:19 p.m.
Today, I found myself looking at things, with a new sense of longing. Throughout the entire day, I had been extremely aware of the sensation of everything around me. The unusual coolness of the breezy ruffled air, felt like someone wearing satiny velvet, was rubbing against me. I could feel the heat lingering behind the coolness of the day, but the coolness kept running faster and the heat could only give a resigned half hearted chase. I remember the feeling of summer's silken kiss brush upon my cheek and swish away like an impetuous debutante in white crinoline. I could smell the perfume of the distant apricot trees and watched several squirrels frisking one another in an orgy of playfulness.
I smiled at their animated play, and envied the simplicity of their days. An existence defined by instinct. and hormones.
The awareness of every sensation, of every thought, of every fiber of your being, can cause you to walk around feeling an overwhelming sense of sensuality. Sensuality in all that you encounter. and maybe that is why I found everything so damn sexy.
The squirrels were sexy. The air was sexy, even the peach I was holding was unbelievably sexy. I sliced into it, and it bled a clear sugary syrup. I reached into the tender heart of the now halved peach, and found the oval pulp of the pit, and scooped it out, with my bare fingers. It left tiny, pink grooved marks, where the pit was once rooted. I stared at the perfect exposed oval of the peach and the deep, rouge stained, hollowed center, and suddenly I wanted to kiss it~lick it softly~ run my tongue along the firm edges, feel the brailled center and memorize it's poetry. It looked so tiny and vulnerable. I bit into it, and my savage teeth left a jagged scar, on it's seeping, weeping sweetly sensual flesh.
and then I thought. about you.
and your sensual laughing mouth.
and your round pagan teeth
and your boyish chin dripping with sweetness
and suddenly.
I realized.
you sliced me just the same.
you sliced me just the same.
maybe you should have just swallowed me whole instead.
( and you can blame it all on instinct and hormones )
old starlight - new starbright
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