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prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2002-09-07 - 1:34 p.m.
In moments of quiet reflection, I am transported back inside your eyes, into the tomb of my restless soul. I wanted to live so deeply inside of you, that I tried to stitch myself to your shadow, weave myself into the silk tapestry of your tangled thoughts, canopy my self above you, to keep the moonlight from stealing your unforgiving beauty. It never worked though. You were always much too elusive for me. You were the mist of condensation on a closed flower, disappearing into the mouth of another consuming dawn. You were melting chocolate truffles on a plate, arranged in the shape of a heart, offered to anyone passing by. You never even understood your own desires. You were always two steps ahead , panicking that I might chase you to the ends of the earth, never imagining what you would do, when I stopped.
You lived for the game, oh how you loved to flee. You needed me, to follow you through deserts and hallucinations, to both ends of the arctic poles . Always with a backward glance, making sure I was ~still ~ there. Hedging your bets. Collecting your rent, with an ever vigilant eye upon your lavish investment. Carrying me like gold, in the hungry palm of your gripping hand, shaking me into your pockets, until both of us were so exhausted from counting to infinity.
Well, you forgot to pay the luxury tax. I was never your estate and definately never the place you called home. Rather, I was just a piece of land, that you sometimes visited. Unwavering in your refusal to lease me or let anyone else build upon the wildflower acres you coveted for yourself in the selfish hours of time gone by.
but.
I will not be your vacation time, fun in the sun girl anymore.
night has come. night has come
to collect the debts of a foolish boy.
Someday, I want to be buried alone.
with you as my epitaph, it would read.
here lies a girl
who loved a boy
who loved her
~sometimes~
between the hours
of maybe and later.
well, angelboy
~later does not always come~
meet me half past never,
and then you will get
just what you deserve
old starlight - new starbright
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