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prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2002-10-22 - 7:10 p.m.
In the midst of my soft lullabye of sleep you run headfirst into my dreams and wake me, forcing my thoughts to turn to you, you leave me shaking in my bed. My breath comes in sharp jagged gasps. memories tumbling all around me. and I can not sleep. I can not breathe, can not catch my breath, can not outrun your imagined grasp. but why ?
What is it that makes me unable to forget you. The faded recollection of us, is forever shadowboxed in the dark corners of my mind. Your amethyst heart and deep lapis eyes staring at me, glowing like jewels at the bottom of the murky sea.
and everything takes me back to the edge of that night.
when you had two choices.
and you chose the one that slashed us both.
I am not your victim. I am my own captor.
I can not release myself from thoughts of you.
why have I chained myself so freely?
I am your trembling blue masochist.
and you,
my one and only true
sadistic love.
save yourself.
save yourself
it is already much too late
for me.
you made your choice.
you made this bed.
and left me to lie in it.
you made this bed.
and left me
tucked in
amidst all of your seeping lies.
staring through the
widowed veil of moonlight
holding softly
onto the tender lashings
of our last weeping goodbye.
old starlight - new starbright
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