she dreamed the same dream night after night~We are an orchestra of one, we are a majesty unveiling, we are newly born lovers, christening one another with mouths and hands and seeking tongues. We are everything and nothing~ Night is falling. night is falling. and I am drowning. in your arms. I am safe again. I am safe again. You surface me, and cling to me, night is falling and I am in my place again. above you, beneath you, wherever it pleases you so... oh my love, I am home again. My heart has been reborn again. the night is falling. and so am I . Falling for you ( into you, above you, through you). night is falling. night is falling. and so am i. so am i. always for you. for you.

blustarswendy3

~random vintage wendchymes~

prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08

2002-11-12 - 7:26 p.m.

I am so sorry about yesterday. You will never understand how heartbreakingly sad it was for me, to be the one to take you to the emergency room. I wanted to be with you, I needed to be with you, but I desperately wish that it had never come to this.

You asked me if we could drive around, so you could smoke another cigarette. You looked to me, to be the grown up, the voice of reason,� the island of safety. I was so afraid that my words would fail you, not knowing any of the right things to say, just grabbing your hand, and stroking the small of your back, and repeating over and over.. " everything's going to be ok"� You thought I was speaking to you, but I was trying to convince myself that indeed somehow everything actually was going to be ok. I turned to look at you, through the stain of so many tears, and saw you sitting next to me, and trembling. Your hands shaking from the constant streaming of too much caffeine and nicotine. Your body about to convulse with sobs, and the only thing that I could think about was how small you seemed, in the scope of this dream that was sadly, not a dream.

Your stunning pale turquoise eyes glistened like ice covered jade at the bottom of the sea and I couldn't help but to notice�how exquisitely beautiful you looked, like a fallen angel with a broken halo around your neck

Oh what a complicated life, we lead. the external - just a shell, so vulnerable with beauty and lies. The deceit of a once innocent mind corrupted by glamour and to much money, the ravishing of a soul thrown to the prada wearing wolves. my boy so lost,

���� so small.� so alone, in the world. holding my hand. and shaking.

as we sit side by side in the car, and cry.

� I cried for you, I cried for myself. I cried for all the ways I could not help you, and all of the times, that I failed you. I cried because we could not trade places, I cried because we should. You are no crazier than me. I just never showed anyone my scars.

� I hide my pain better. I am older and wiser.

and you seemed so much smaller. as if you were disappearing before my very eyes.

After you smoked your last cigarette and played your favourite cd's, you let me walk you in through the automatic doors of� an uncertain fate where Doctor's become gods, and patients become lambs.

walking into the mouth of noone's god, your blood on my sleeves, your heart pinned to my dress.

The receptionist smiled, and invited us to take a seat. Then they buzzed you in, and because you are over 18, they wanted me to wait outside the doors of judgement.� I explained my promise to you, and begged them to let me in. I needed to be in there, I needed you to hold my hand, and feel the soft touch of pure love in the much to bright lights of the sterile room.

��

� they did not stitch up your arm, instead they butterflied it shut. I watched the groove of your flesh sutured back together, the seam of your skin, closing back up, into one last fluttering flight.

Do you know that you looked like an Armani Mannequin? In some way, you are much to beautiful for this world.Everything at a cost. You are so beautiful that you have taking to cutting yourself . don't you relize that it is our hearts that you are carving from your flesh??

� You're perfection is physical, your psyche is flawed. You have damaged the surface, scarring yourself to feel pain. Scaring me, back into the shadows of my own murky abyss

you said to me, on the way to the hospital " I did it because I hate myself so much, inside"

why why why???

� Our love is not enough to staple you to this world. You are slipping out of reach.

�������� I can see you disappearing before my very eyes

� I keep calling to you, trying to call you home again.

��� I try to tell you that your life is not just your own. " You belong to all of us who love you. Think of that, the next time, you try to cut yourself. Keep us as the voice in your head."

calling you home

� They took you away by ambulance, the lights still flash red with fierce uncertainty before my eyes.

�They locked you away from us.

Home is just a memory. but we are all here, trying to fight for you

�� We want you back� but you need to want it more than all of us put together.

come home, beautiful boy, come home.

� come back to the place where you are so imperfect and beautiful to us,

we can see your scars. a still life of your pain.

let us hold you tighter and show you the beauty of your heart

We are going to bring you home and keep you safe, little blue diamond boy

This is the breath of my solemn promise to you~

so, please please please please get better so that you can come home, where you belong ~

old starlight - new starbright

Click here to read the WendChymes archives

Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!

My star profile

Google

Picture 085

chasing dreams

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from wendchymes. Make your own badge here.

(C) wendchymes 2008

Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!

hosted by DiaryLand.com