prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2003-05-05 - 8:39 p.m.
let this be the end, please god, let this be the end. of
it all.
breathe in.
breathe out.
surfacing is hard when you have to leave everything so ugly and beautiful and real behind.
but the warm air feels exquisite on my bare shoulders and I am tired of shivering alone in the dark hours of eternity.
I have nothing more to say to you.
you have nothing left to say to me.
except shut up!! shut up.!! shut up!!
and so I will.
let this be my sacred vow.
entered upon in the ordinary twilight hours of now, on the 5th of May in the year 2003.
you were loved,
you know.
you were loved.
and in the process
it was the undoing of me.
the unravelling
of my tongue.
from the back
of my throat.
the un-muting
of the screams,
the surrendering
of our waking dreams
the pointlessness
of it all.
of letting go.
of moving on,
of shedding the skin
of my reptilian heart,
like a deadly cobra.
the rattle of poison,
against the tip
of your eyelashes
fluttering me into dreams
with silent goodbyes
blinking back
the tears
that never came
for you
as i choke
upon the memory
of the back
of your hand
pinning me
to the canopied
butterfly bed
always screaming
for more ,
and somehow
always settling
for less.
old starlight - new starbright
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