prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2003-06-11 - 3:47 p.m.
in you I can never touch bottom, can never reach the end of your abyssal beauty or appease the gatekeeper of your infinite evilness. Your mystery is the allure that I can never shake, like the hound on the fox, I am hot on your scent, but� my adoration was always so� worthless to you,� my love the currency you so callously spent. I would divorce myself from my own heart, if it would give me back my self pride. You will never return for me, never ask me to be your sugar spun bride. A spinster in the making, another fool for the taking.
and you tell me that I am a wonderful girl. a perfect friend. You don't want me, but can't seem to be the one to let it all end. You suspend me in time, freeze frame my life. Of course you don't care, you always win. I� tell you no. Scream. NEVER! EVER! again. but you� just smile that cocky smile, and walk away. smug in the knowledge that I will ~always~return.
�� You are my diety, my satan,� my effigy to burn, my reason to live, my cross to bear,� my lesson so poorly learned. The chains of this karma are circling me closer to the end.I am not a wonderful girl, I am not a perfect friend. I am the girl who loved you, and this is the lovehateletter, that I� am never gonna send.
� I loved you, because you let me.
I hate you because you can so easily forget me.
�boy, I bet you wish that you never met me.� I loved you because you let me and hate you because you could so easily forget me. You made your choice, made it clear that you would never ever select me.� between love and hate is where I can be found, if only you would come and get me, bet you wish that you never met me. Loved you because you let me. loved you cause you let me, bet you wish that you never met me. Don't want� you to set me free, want you to come back and collect me. oh please , come over here and get me.
How could you let me, disappear without a trace. when I close my eyes, I can still touch the preciousness of your face. Unlike me, you are not so easily replaced. bet you wish that you never met me. But this pain was a blessing. turned inside out. I wouldn't trade our past away. I will keep my insanity. just the price to pay. for loving you so blindly, that I could never, not even for a moment. turn away.
old starlight - new starbright
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