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prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2004-02-24 - 7:59 p.m.
As much as I have said goodbye to you, and put you to bed, I still dream about you night after night. I find you tucked underneath my covers, in a halo of moonlight, fluttering just beneath the surface of my sleeping eyelids, and I dream and dream and dream of you and I, the way it used to be, when I was your blue butterfly of longing, and you were my swansong~
alas, on this morn, when I awoke in the gathering mist of a wintery twilight, I thought again about you, and in my head I spoke to you.....
and whispered. through the shadows to you
"my once upon a time love, just before you fall asleep, whomever it is that you think about, as you are descending into your gentle world of soft dreams, I want you to fight for her. Chase her to the ends of the world. and gather her back into your arms. and kiss her and kiss her and kiss her, until she is yours. I want you to know love, in all it's glistening heartbreak and beauty. Collect it and name it, and make it your own
oh my little paper moon boy, that I have loved, I want this for you ( and oh so much more)
because,I know so well, that you were never mine. the day you disappeared back into the clutching curtains of a late spring rain, I watched you fade swiftly from sight,
and in my aching heart I knew that it was the last time that I would ever see you. I tried desperately to memorize your silhouette in the greyness of falling night as you walked away with your elusive back to my tears, through the haze of no regrets.
I loved you~I loved you~ I loved you~
and yet
somehow it was never enough.
and still we both sleep alone.
beneath the same sliver of moon.
but soon, my arms will be full of a newborn love to call my own.
and my life and heart belong to someone else.
someone tiny and new.
who drifts inside me, flitting like a hummingbird against my pearl white skin, making her prescense known.
I don't want you to sleep alone.
just so you know.
Someday, I want you to know a love like this, of your very own."
old starlight - new starbright
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