she dreamed the same dream night after night~We are an orchestra of one, we are a majesty unveiling, we are newly born lovers, christening one another with mouths and hands and seeking tongues. We are everything and nothing~ Night is falling. night is falling. and I am drowning. in your arms. I am safe again. I am safe again. You surface me, and cling to me, night is falling and I am in my place again. above you, beneath you, wherever it pleases you so... oh my love, I am home again. My heart has been reborn again. the night is falling. and so am I . Falling for you ( into you, above you, through you). night is falling. night is falling. and so am i. so am i. always for you. for you.

blustarswendy3

~random vintage wendchymes~

prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08

2004-08-29 - 7:23 p.m.

the rhythym of rain against my window, feels like the cleansing that my soul has needed for a long time.

A year ago today, I left Greenwich, in a rental car, with the last of my posessions, stuffed in every crevice of the compact automobile. I was speeding off into total uncertainty. still reeling from the shock of being 5 weeks pregnant.

I remember staring at an image of what a developing baby looks like at 5 weeks. A tiny grainy image of a bean shaped blob. Some people refer to it as a cluster of cells. I suppose at such an early stage it is. But those cells have a tiny heart, the size of a poppy seed, that will begin beating, in just a few days.

That fuzzy grey shape. that cluster of cells. that atlas of my new heart. has changed my life in the most indescribable ways.

Today, we baptized Sierra. I dressed her in layers of white satin and tulle and then I placed the Satin trimmed Christening bonnet on her head, and turned her to face the mirror. She looked at her reflection for a moment, and then looked at me. I was smiling widely at her, and started to laugh and, then she burst into a full open mouth giggle, which only made me laugh more, upon which she laughed even louder.

The words escape me. to explain, exactly how I felt in that moment. I love this child, to the core of my soul. I could never have grasped this concept before I ever held her. You always know that you will love your children. You can just never be prepared for the scope and magnitude of such a powerful and empowering love.

She makes me a better person. Everything I have to say, sounds like such a cliche. but it is something that you have to experience for yourself, to truly understand.

Perhaps that is why I have been so devastated by the story of Baby Allison Leigh Scott, who was diagnosed with Leukemia at such an unbelievably young age. I feel such a kinship to this baby. Because she reminds me so much of Sierra.

and I can easily imagine myself in her mother's shoes and all pain that she is going through. When Sierra was in the hospital for Severe Jaundice, I couldn't stop crying. You feel so helpless watching your baby suffer. I tried not to cry, to be strong for Sierra. but I couldn't look at her, without the tears just streaming down my face. You just want to take away your baby's pain and suffering, absorb it into your soul and make them better. But life doesn't have a sense of order or fairness. because if it did. babies would never ever be sick.

But to know the love of your child. and to gaze into their sweet face, makes me believe that there is some sort of higher power out there. I Baptized Sierra, because I believe that there is a world beyond this one. I do not attach to it, the idea of one god. or of the teachings of my Catholic upbringing. The god of my world. is a loving light.

and I like to believe that everything in this world happens for a reason. I can't look at Sierra without thinking, that she was meant for me. and every day that I wake up with her next to me, is the best day of my life.

I don't know what the reason could possibly be, for making Allie have leukemia. But it is not so much for me to understand as it is for me to act.

I encourage you all. to give blood. Donate your platelets, at the American Red Cross. In Allie's name. When was the last time, that you did something pro active ? We all see problems, and vaguely wonder what it is that we could do to help. but everyday life gets in the way. Please consider taking the time out of your busy day to donate. It is a 2 hour procedure, and if you give the platelets. You are directly helping someone with Leukemia. And you can donate it in Allie's name.

The only difference between donating blood and donating platelets, is the time. It takes another hour to give the platelets, but you get to watch a movie on tv.

You could really be helping a sick child. When it comes down to it, we are all just people, who love their families, and want the best for our loved ones. and who couldn't use a little extra good karma?

and remember if you donate, please donate in Allie's name, they will credit her account. PLease go to http://www.scotthousehold.com to learn more about this adorable and precious Allie Angel, but I warn you, to do so, is to fall hopelessly, head over heels in love with her.

old starlight - new starbright

Click here to read the WendChymes archives

Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!

My star profile

Google

Picture 085

chasing dreams

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from wendchymes. Make your own badge here.

(C) wendchymes 2008

Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!

hosted by DiaryLand.com