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prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2005-10-12 - 1:40 p.m.
I have been told, that Sierra has so many professional photos, and don't I ever take candid shots? well, yes of course I do, and this may
sound silly, but perhaps I do
not have as many as other people, because there is just me. just me, doing it on my own, and i am often down on the floor, with sierra, in the moment, of now, in all the precious milestone moments, trying to experience them, trying to savor/devour them, trying to engrave them upon my psyche, because these are the life defining- whole reason for living, moments
that I will be desperately, frantically reaching/clawing/scratching
for, in the dementia of my passing, when I leave this world.
I do not have so many pics, of
when I was giving birth, or in the hospital, or when Sierra was in the NICU, because I spent alot of that time alone.
Sierra deserves so much. No matter, how much she writes on the sofa, or fingerpaints on the walls, or breaks my sapphire necklace, I love her more. and more. Her personality is starting to take shape,
she is coming more into herself. Animated and bold, fearless and loving, passionate to the point of obstinance, she has courage and sincerity, and a loving heart.
She waves to everyone, and says " hi- low" she chases after butterflies, and loves to throw a basketball, she shakes her shoulders and does a shimmy hip shaking dance, whenever you say " silly dance", she loves animals, and can spend forever petting the cat or dog, very gently, she has a huge vocabulary and always remembers to say please and 'ank ou, she is insane for dora the explorer, and can spend hours watching her on tv. these are my memories, these are the moments, I cram into my waking eyes... ( these are the moments of now, that so soon, will be so far away, lost to the endless slow ticking of time, gone by ) and my baby is growing up, growing so magnificently, she brushes her teeth, and refuses to give me back the toothpaste, she snuggles into my arms, at night when she is sleeping, and sometimes, she sneaks out of bed, at 3 am, to drive her cozy coupe car, around the dark bedroom. She loves all the halloween decorations, especially the scary masks, she says " rarrrrr" and laughs.. at the witch that decorates our front porch,
and I want to remember this all. every second, every moment, because I am the only one.
who loves her this much, and because she is MY BABY.
please god, help me to remember.
old starlight - new starbright
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