she dreamed the same dream night after night~We are an orchestra of one, we are a majesty unveiling, we are newly born lovers, christening one another with mouths and hands and seeking tongues. We are everything and nothing~ Night is falling. night is falling. and I am drowning. in your arms. I am safe again. I am safe again. You surface me, and cling to me, night is falling and I am in my place again. above you, beneath you, wherever it pleases you so... oh my love, I am home again. My heart has been reborn again. the night is falling. and so am I . Falling for you ( into you, above you, through you). night is falling. night is falling. and so am i. so am i. always for you. for you.

blustarswendy3

~random vintage wendchymes~

prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08

2006-05-11 - 8:51 p.m.

Sierra's birthday bonanza continues, as we are having another bash on Sat May 2oth. My sister Tara is graduating from S.U. School of law on the 21st of May, and my grandmother and several other family members will be winging in for the occasion. We decided to hold a family celebration on the 20th for Sierra and Tara, to celebrate since it is not often that we are all together at once.

We are going to have it, at a magnificent park in Syracuse, called Thornden Park. It has rolling hills, and a rose garden, and outdoor trails, and a sunken amphitheatre made from grass and rocks, where they sometimes do Shakespeare in the park.

and most importantly a swingset and playground equipment, for Sierra the daredevil, who never met a slide she couldn't conquer.

and everynight, we talk about her party, about how her cousins are going to sleep over, on fri night, and how the next day she is going to go to the movies with them ( her first cinemagraphic experience) and then we will all go to thornden park for pizza and cake, and all the running and laughing and chasing that sierra and her cousins can take, while everyone takes copious amounts of pics and video footage.

I never really thought of Syracuse as home, we moved here when I was 13, and I left when i was 18 and never really looked back. ALl the years in between I spent trying to avoid this place.

and yet. it has given me alot, in the last few years. I loved my ob/gyn team, and the hospital where I delivered Sierra. I actually have become friends with my Ob, who is a single mom by choice. dare i say it? I am starting to carve out a very small life, here, for us. I volunteer at a nursery school one morning a week, so Sierra can interact with the kids. I often take her to storytime at the local library, and am starting to become friendly with some of the other mothers. I am recognizing people, at the grocery store, and if i didn't know better, I would think that perhaps, I almost have a " real " life.

All those years, that I spent chasing someone else's li(f)e, as the overpaid nanny, transporting other people's kids to and from ballet and soccer, and doing a million errands for millionaires.


and all the while. feeling like such a lost failure. living someone else's li(f)e.

and now, I have errands to run. for Sierra's birthday. should she have a dora the explorer cake, the toy story one, the barbie or cinderella ?

Choices. so many choices. mine. and mine alone. for my very own real little princess... and our simple and very real, life. in syracuse.

old starlight - new starbright

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