prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2007-08-13 - 9:29 p.m.
Diary of an Ordinary day
7:12 a.m. woke up, dog barking to go out, and a sleepy Sierra sliding off bed, because said dog woke her up, and she needs to pee.... and apparently so does dog
7:13 a.m put dumb dog out, pat dumb dog's head, chased dumb dog all around yard, to get him to come back inside
7:20 am, brushed teeth, looked in mirror for a nano second, recoiled at self. and remembered it is my 37th bday, searched face for signs of aging, notice faint faint faint sun damage type pre- wrinkling on cheeks... but need magnifying lens to see it, at this point, made mental note to self, to moisturize more often
7:30 am, ate breakfast in bed, with Sierra, entemanns tiny choco chip 100 calorie muffins, and sliced fresh peaches... and skim milk
7:45 put on Caillou for Sierra, and listened to obligatory phone call, with my mother, discribing in great detail reliving my birth story.... " 37 years ago today, after 484730 hours of agonizing labor, you were descending down the birth canal...... and....
8:14 checked email. only interesting email is from Pizaria Uno wishing me a very happy birthday how nice of them.
surf internet.
9 am, call Sierra's pediatrician to tell her that over the weekend, Sierra's earring fell out, and the gold backing has somehow lodged in her earlobe, and will not come out, i have tried baby oil and vasiline and tweezers, but can not get it out by myself, need second set of hands...
9:2O AFTER BEING ON HOLD FOREVER, DR TELLS ME TO TAKE SIERRA TO URGENT CARE.
9:21 GET DRESSED, GET SIERRA DRESSED
9:41 ARRIVE AT URGENT CARE, FILL OUT MILES OF PAPERWORK
10:14 get called to front desk, to confirm that info is all correct, and then have to sit back down and wait. and wait. and wait.
10:34 Sierra keeps telling me that she is hungry over and over. and over. and bored. try to distract her, as know that we will be there for HOURS! find a small bag of cheerios in my purse, ration it out to her.
11:41 place is filling up, and noone is being called into the back
12:11 we FINALLY GET CALLED IN
12:47 Sierra falls asleep in my arms, because we have been waiting so long, in the tiny triage room
12:49 Dr comes in, and takes a look at her ear, and asks a bunch of dumb questions, seems confused and doesn't really understand what is the problem and what he should do. I am practically hysterical at this point, because he wants to refer me to an ear nose throat guy, to make an incision and remove it.
Ask DR, to numb ear, says he can not. Ask DR to get lubricant, and tweezers and to TRY to remove it, so he does, and SIERRA WAS A TOTAL Warrior Girl, sooo BRAVE, never cried, never said boo, just held my hand, while incompetent boob DR tried to pull it out, over and over with tweezers, and just before i scream at him to stop, he finally ripped it out.... and her earlobe is bleeding, and sore, but she is still being so brave! Smother her with kisses, and race out of urgent care, with my special princess girl ( and told her that she is never having pierced ears again)
1:44 pm take Sierra out for ice cream cone and to park
3:30 pm Sierra and I water all the plants, walk the dogs, do the dishes, tidy up house, make dinner....
4 P.M. get mail, and a few birthday cards, with some birthday money, but do not feel excited like I used to whenever i got b'day money before because now I have to use money to pay car insurance and buy groceries and gas, and for Sierra's school tuition. Do not have job for fall. Do not have enough money to get new tires, will have to keep putting air in old ones, barely have enough money to make ends meet this month. try not to think about it. go hug my girl, and remember to be profoundly grateful, because 4 years ago, she came into my life, today is the anniversary of Sierra's conception. on my birthday, no less, something that I will NEVER FORGET. Get choked up just thinking about it, go back and hug and kiss my girl a hundred more times.
5 pm put dogs back outside,and take a walk with Sierra
6 pm eat dinner in backyard, on deck with Sierra, sing silly songs
7 pm talk to best friend in Spain,
7:30 PM GIVE SIERRA BATH, CHECK HER EAR, PUT HER IN NIGHTGOWN, CUDDLE WITH HER,
7:43 Sierra falls asleep
7:44 watch her sleep, watch her little chest rising and falling and her sweet little pink bowed mouth, and the sweeping curve of her hair framing her face, with the darkest longest lashes that I have ever seen, feel breathless with love for this exquisite creature that came bounding into my life and turned it all kinds of upside downs... and made every day a million times better, with just her mere presence
She is just love. plain and simple. she is the purest embodiment of love, at it's simplest form, the most uncomplicated kind of love. the unconditional kind. I love her, and she feels that love, and loves me back. Something so simple, and yet, it took me all of these years, to find this kind of payoff. to have love reciprocated and validated.
and every year, i used to cry on my birthday. but not since Sierra came mewling into my arms.
and hopefully never again. because she has put the happy. in my birthday. even on the most ordinary of days. and that makes her pretty extraordinary in my eyes.
old starlight - new starbright
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