prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2008-02-12 - 7:19 p.m.
sierra holding her newest cousin, alliza, and giving her a sweet little kiss
to say that i love my little girl, with all of my heart would be such an understatement. I still watch her from the great distance of the spinster girl that i used to be, and still startle, when i hear myself using the phrase "my daughter " because i truly never ever allowed myself to ever believe that something so wonderful could and would ever happen to me.
and i love watching her personality unfold right in front of me, it is like watching a photograph develop in slow motion. when i was pregnant with her, i would wonder endlessly, what kind of personality she would have, and what she would be like. now, i still watch in wonder, as she is developing into a real little person, and like all proud parents, i am continually touched and amazed. she has so many of my nuances, so many of my speech patterns, and often repeats what i say, with the same inflections, makes the same face and same hand gestures, and yet, she is so much of her own person, too.
I just received her first preschool progress report, and i could not be prouder, it was quite comprehensive and painted a wonderful picture of her development, and generous nature, how she is a compassionate and kind hearted little girl, who loves to engage in sensory play, the messier the art project the better, and how proud she is of her masterpieces, and makes sure to show all of her teachers. also,that she gets along well, with all of the children, and is totally inclusive in her play and shares well, and is eager to please. they also noted her love of cooking time, and imaginative play and how much she loves watching the teachers in dramatic story telling and how her eyes widen with excitment. she is beginning to write and recognize her name and all in all, that she is doing wonderful socially, intellectually, and developmentally.
I could not have been prouder when i read her report, although it made me ache a little bit, not to have anyone to share her progress with, someone who is as proud of her as i am, a partner who was as emotionally invested in her, as I am. those are the small moments, when i feel my spinsterness acutely, i may have a little girl, who calls me mommy, but i don't have anyone to share my tremendous love of sierra with.
but i try not to focus on that, and get back down on my knees and thank the heavens for this exquisite little girl, who wakes up everyday, happy and adventourous, who is packed with energy and personality and free spiritedness, who believes that the world is good, and in all of her sweet hearted innocence, trusts all people.
and i wish that i could have a bit of her boldness and confidence, and the power of her irresistable smile. she could charm the most cumudgeonly of hearts. and she is absolutely what puts me in the best of moods, and keeps me focused, on the big picture, and keeps me always moving forward, life is all about finding new and exciting ways to make sierra happy, and enriching her life, and somehow along the way, it has taken over, and completely fulfilled mine.
old starlight - new starbright
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