prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2001-09-30 - 9:27 a.m.
another dream in the space of a place where you once lay.
you sent me a box. I was stunned to open it and find all your mementos inside, this must be your treasure trove of memories. I felt weird to be going through it, but also deeply needed to find something, anything that would make sense. Instead I found diary entries that made no sense to me, i scanned everywhere to see if you mentioned my name anywhere... no such luck, i found bizarre things in there, like rolled up paper placemats from tatty little diners across the U.S.A, one contained a lock of wavy white golden hair, funny, i do not remember you being in love with an albino. There was a bag full of clothes, 2 skirts, a corset etc...and a receipt from a mall in jersey showing that you purchased several lingerie items. i wonder whom they were for? Sandwiched in between the pages of a book, were tons of pictures of my family... i do not know why you would have them, but even when i was desperately flipping through those pictures, i knew somehow that there was no picture of me amongst them.Somehow I did not exist anymore. I did not make it into your memory box, but the stupid invitation to some friend of a friends annual family picnic did... i was seized with jealousy that people you did not even directly know, were able to spend time with you, even invite you to there home, and you would show up and smile.. and make polite conversation..and the handprinted lame invitation even made it's way into your treasure trove. Why don't i exist to you anymore ?
old starlight - new starbright
Click here to read the WendChymes archives
Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!
(C) wendchymes 2008
