prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2001-11-03 - 11:23 a.m.
so, this morning, I was being swallowed by thoughts of you, and I felt as if I was lost in the mouth of a giant. Why do you make my head swirl so much, when are you going to come home ?
did I ever tell you about my pillow man ? He does not glitter like you, or smell like the sea, but I build him every night... with the pillows from my bed.... the softest pillow for his head... the unsoftly ones to make his body long and firm, I make him stretch out and wait... I make him as long as the bed... because I am six feet of longing for you.. and pillow man is the closest I can get to curling up with you... but somehow it is not the same. The night starts off well enough. He just lies there, in his quiet pillow man way, on top of my lilac duvet ( ~because you always liked it best on top in your not so quiet way~ )
Pillow man lets me curve against him, the wing of my leg and arm slipped beneath him, and the other wing thrown wantonly, possessively, across him. Sleep comes sooooooo slowly, when you are not there. When finally I am asleep, pillow man tries to c r e e p away ( like you~) Sometimes I roll and toss and tumble and push him around, re arrange him in my dreams, thrashing about in my morpheus R.E.M playground, so in the morning, I am never sure what to think. I wake up and find pillow man, in pieces, on the floor, suspiciously scattered about, leading towards the DOOR!
Do I push him away, in my smothering ways or does he flee of his own accord?
why can't he stay, just once? Perfect and complete, like the way, like the way, it used to be when we used to meet in the middle?
old starlight - new starbright
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