prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2002-01-18 - 12:52 p.m.
Yesterday, I wanted to grab you by the shoulders, and shake you, like an old woman, shaking the tread in dirt, out of an ancient dusty carpet. I wanted to shake words out of you, forcing your silence to fall to the floor and shatter,into a million glass shards,just like the ice snowglobe that you once gave to me. The cat knocked it over, and never looked back.(He learned that clever trick from you.) and me on the floor, trying to pick up the pieces. me on the floor searching for something to remember you by. Me on the floor on hands and knees sweeping up all that once was, between us.
I wanted to shake words out of you, because I needed to see your elusive eyes flashing with rage. Measure the white hot anger, that leaps into your rimmed with fire, black jaguar eyes, when you rise to my desire, to scorch us both, in dancing flames of anger. Sometimes I fight with you, just to see if I can still cause you to catch on fire. I need to fight with so that I can try to melt your iceberg walls, and throw myself upon the elevated burning pyre.
In that instant, we are widows to one another, widows to a once upon a time, kind of burning love. And yes, I would still die, a thousands time, just so you could live, to see another tangerine streaked, bursting with lemon, dawn.
Still,I need to Fight with you, cutting myself upon your jagged words, slicing your back with my sharp tongue, until we are both completely *undone*.
Sometimes I need to fight with you, until we are both raw and bleeding, because I need you to prove that I am worth fighting for. I push you away, because I need to see if your legs are long and strong enough to chase me beneath the endless sky.
Sometimes, I need you to catch me, so that we become two candles dipped into the same pool of melting wax. I need to fight with you, so that you will grab me, and shake the spinning stars, out of my eyes.
* love is war*
Sometimes, I need you to ignite me, and cover me, blowing the flames, fanning the blaze so that our love burns gaping holes into the ozone layer. Global warming in the heat, of the space, where our hearts on fire, meet.
Sometimes, I need you to enflame me, and then tame me, you crawling into me, pouring us into the deep sea, inside me.Drowning us in an abyss of bliss and heat.
I need you to fight with me, so that we will burn up.
disappear. completely.
and then, when they sweep up the smoldering ashes, we will both, be set ~free~.
because, because, you once, ~loved me~.
~You loved me~ You loved me enough to incinerate us both, deep inside my eternal blaze for ~you~
old starlight - new starbright
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