she dreamed the same dream night after night~We are an orchestra of one, we are a majesty unveiling, we are newly born lovers, christening one another with mouths and hands and seeking tongues. We are everything and nothing~ Night is falling. night is falling. and I am drowning. in your arms. I am safe again. I am safe again. You surface me, and cling to me, night is falling and I am in my place again. above you, beneath you, wherever it pleases you so... oh my love, I am home again. My heart has been reborn again. the night is falling. and so am I . Falling for you ( into you, above you, through you). night is falling. night is falling. and so am i. so am i. always for you. for you.

blustarswendy3

~random vintage wendchymes~

prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08

2002-03-14 - 9:38 a.m.

I feel like I am emotionally on hold. It is a peculiar sensation. I am so used to the overflowing ways of my heart, a blue crystal waterfall pouring into an emerald abyss and now I am still, and silenced.

I dream of fragrant cherry blossoms, and trees heavy with magnolias, bowing at my feet. I dream about you, white with winter's alabaster rinse, stepping into the first sunlight of spring and handing me a fistful of wilting daisy's. I dream of your kiss alighting on my lips, as slivers of spring rain fall all around us.

The other day, you finally looked me in the eye. I saw myself in the reflection of those bright orbs I know so well. and it was wonderful to see the return of your half moon smile. Your laugh enchants me like no other.

I do not have any expectations, and this is such a relief. I no longer overflow endlessly for you. I am becoming self contained. I have accepted my lonlieness, as an ache that will not relent. I am learning to live with only the sound of my own voice, and I am trying to forget the sensation of your hand sweeping soft tendrils of haloed yellow curls from my flushed face, as you kiss my glittering neck. Somethings, I can not forget. I can not cremate all of my exquisite memories of you, but I can set free the mandarin butterflies of my longing, that p a p e r c h a i n s me to you.

maybe the springtime will finally set me free. maybe this will be the year I learn to be enough, for myself.

I am ok. I am not ok.

I am enough. I am not enough.

I love you. is that ok?

p.s. why is that just not enough?

old starlight - new starbright

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