she dreamed the same dream night after night~We are an orchestra of one, we are a majesty unveiling, we are newly born lovers, christening one another with mouths and hands and seeking tongues. We are everything and nothing~ Night is falling. night is falling. and I am drowning. in your arms. I am safe again. I am safe again. You surface me, and cling to me, night is falling and I am in my place again. above you, beneath you, wherever it pleases you so... oh my love, I am home again. My heart has been reborn again. the night is falling. and so am I . Falling for you ( into you, above you, through you). night is falling. night is falling. and so am i. so am i. always for you. for you.

blustarswendy3

~random vintage wendchymes~

prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08

2002-06-30 - 1:31 p.m.

I woke up happy. Imagine that. I fell asleep clasping the greyness that has overtaken me,and somehow, in the middle of the night, the dawn crept in, and swept away the ugliness. and I can smell the magnolias again. There is a rosy cherry blossom glow, warming the surface.This is wondorous! I no longer am soooo cold and numb. and I don't exactly know why. and I wonder how long it will last. but I want to savour the splendour. I want to smile, and feel the ice of my antartica shifting. I am melting into happy. I am bursting into newness. and I can't believe how long it has been, since I have even had the luxury of a positive thought. The collision of negativity upon negativity had it's gnarled grip on me, and from there, everything spirals into an abyss of misery, but can't you see me pushing up, pushing out, into this space, a place I barely remember? a world, where I do not hate myself so much, and I can wake up in the middle of the night, and not feel that heart stabbing panic, that this is indeed my sad lonely life. but suddenly, it does not terrify me like it used to. I spent so long wanting desperately to be alone. ( hark, be wary what you wish for)chasing the world away, hiding from everyone, and especially during all those 20 something parties, many a midnight hour I could be found languishing outside against the grassy slope, beneath a shimmering curtain of nightstars, listening to the sound of distant laughter from vague friends, feeling like noone understands me, and finding it unbearable and just so goddamn exhausting to try and reveal myself to them, when hiding away is so much easier and yet,

this impenetrable solitude is/was such a heavy price to pay. and I don't think I truly realized how bad it was. until today, because for the length of the entire day I have not had one negative thought. I have not written myself off into oblivion, not once. I actually, contemplated living. and caught myself laughing. and doing what it is that I do best, making other's laugh ( I am pastel at heart, not a black kohl goth)

I can be a gift. I can be a gift best given to myself. and I want to skip through a meadow and pick wildflowers for everyone, and walk barefoot on the first new lush damp blades of spring's green green grass.

I don't want to cry anymore. I am up against the glass walls I built. I want to shatter them and set myself free.

I want to kiss you again. I want you to linger and be a cooling breeze when the flames lick at me like air, and I become your oasis and together, ice and fire , flame and tame, silk on silk, honey and milk, the whisper of secrets, the sighs of longing. grasping clasping. You satiate me when noone else will do. Your long fingers twined in my hair, my cheek smooth against your beating heart.

~Content~

soft blue star girl and glittering cloud boy entangled in a stolen moment. sometimes you can fall asleep and wake up happy. yes, sometimes, you really can~

yes~ yes ~yes~ yes~ yes~ she whispered

no wonder she woke up happy

old starlight - new starbright

Click here to read the WendChymes archives

Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!

My star profile

Google

Picture 085

chasing dreams

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from wendchymes. Make your own badge here.

(C) wendchymes 2008

Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!

hosted by DiaryLand.com