prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2003-01-25 - 7:41 p.m.
The last time we laid eyes ( and hands and fingers and lips) upon one another, we never said goodbye. oh my love oh my love, you are the one thought that will not cease. You skip and pirhouette and linger inside my head. You are my pet, a shadow lover that shadowboxes inside my bedroom walls. I feel the sultry stare of your silhouette in the weeping darkness, your lashes drifting shut, softly closing the night upon our day and you sleep thousands upon thousands of miles away, but I have trapped you,like an angora rabbit in a wire cage. I have pressed you between the pages of my gripping heart. There is no end, something tells me that this is just the slow burning start.
I want to sail away, sail away-far from this angel less dream scape. far away from here. back to the space, back to the place, where you did not exist. because I can not sleep knowing that your back is sealed like a tomb to my lover-ing touch. I can not steel myself to face the pain of a thousand tomorrows without ever falling again, into your strong embrace.
Everyone else, is not you.
and I hold that against them, from the very moment we meet. From the first moment that they first speak.
What power has been granted , what power has been so easily surrendered. How did this come to be?
come little thoughts, come swirling before me. To exorcise this demon, I need only to say goodbye. but I have tried a thousand times. before.
and I am tired. I am tired. and weary. oh nevermore nevermore
come to me, in the velveteen hours of our sacredness
I am your beautiful pagan. I am your lovermotherwhore
I open and swallow.
I lead and then I follow
I cry out with pleasure
that only ever ends in pain.
always, in the shivering dark,
you liked me best
but by the harsh light of day,
you leave me alone
to languish in my feathered nest
My sins are your sins,
for which you never attone
when will I learn?
when will I stop hating the rest of the world, for not being you ? When will I love myself in case you never do? Just another ungrateful love story.
my heart was unwanted, and your's was never mine, to own.
old starlight - new starbright
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