prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2003-06-16 - 12:03 p.m.
oh the deceit, such an intricate orchestra of manoevers so cleverly disguised and endlessly left on repeat. How did you ever even find the time to sleep, when your every waking moment was spent covering up the progeny of your unravelling lies? This was me, wanting so desperately to believe in your lustful sighs, to spin a beautiful truth out of glistening silk, instead of holding tightly onto a fistful of writhing worms. I could have been the jewel in your crown, never saw me for who I really was, cause you never opened your unforgiving eyes.
oh, the show is finally over. The cast has been sent home and The stage has been disassembled. The only thing left unsaid, is the soliliquy of our last aching goodbye. This is the red curtained shadow of my orphaned heart�all alone for the taking, and asking why. The secrets have finally flown away, like white moths from a burning attic, leaving a devastation of damage in there wake. You knew it would come to this, so why did you bother to act so surprised?
I have no more to give, there's nothing more to take. I watch with detached interest as you pack up the scraps of your misery, stuffing them like repressed memories, into your black leather case and then with a downcast final glance, you turn your face and walkaway. You shove tight fists of rage, into your designer pockets and hunch up your strong shoulders and look away. oh you slide down the street, muttering to the beat, of your disillusions, like a man just freed from a cage.
You leave a trail of hate,where love used to be. you carved me into something that I never was or ever could be. You made me so much worse than I ever was, never seperating the hurt from the love.oh,don't look now, but Your favourite picture of me is torn in half and blowing away, in the breeze of an ordinary spring day. oh my love, you tried so hard to hold onto the one of me smiling, in that kitteny way. In my heart I will always believe, that you were the one who let go,of us, way to easily.
oh, I wish we had it to do all over again, what I would give to return to the beauty of that first day. when we stood upon that crowded street,wearing a crush upon our sleeves, strangers with secrets, always passing each other by, but always we were hoping to meet and learn each others name and now, a hundred years later,�nothing will ever be the same again. and I am sitting in my car, in the pouring rain, about to drive away, in total defeat.
� but in that picture, taken so long ago, you know what, my blue angel boy? I was laughing, in spite of you. I was the blessing right in front of you. The shiny light of a spinning prism passing right through your open fingers. oh the light so intense it would burn you, if you held onto it, or let it linger for much to long. Keep this as a memory. Let this be our song. I loved you in spite of this, oh my tremendous love, I loved you, all along.~
old starlight - new starbright
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