she dreamed the same dream night after night~We are an orchestra of one, we are a majesty unveiling, we are newly born lovers, christening one another with mouths and hands and seeking tongues. We are everything and nothing~ Night is falling. night is falling. and I am drowning. in your arms. I am safe again. I am safe again. You surface me, and cling to me, night is falling and I am in my place again. above you, beneath you, wherever it pleases you so... oh my love, I am home again. My heart has been reborn again. the night is falling. and so am I . Falling for you ( into you, above you, through you). night is falling. night is falling. and so am i. so am i. always for you. for you.

blustarswendy3

~random vintage wendchymes~

prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08

2003-12-24 - 9:38 p.m.

Sometimes, when I can't sleep at night, I toss and turn continually, as if, I am shipwrecked, and riding the consuming crest of a massive wave of futility. I can feel the endlessness of blue black night spilling through my sheer curtains, as the silence comes creeping in. It is in those long dark hours, that I think about this precious baby. I lay under the softness of my duvet, my hand at rest on the white moon of my curved belly and try to imagine all of the many anonymous and forgotten people who had to merge and converge, on several continents, since the beginning of time,and give birth to so many generations, one after another, like an infinite string of pearls, to lead to this exact moment. I truly think that Ancestry is so very fascinating, for we are all truly unique compononents of such a complicated and exquisitely intricate formula.

this baby is part Italian, Scottish, Irish, French, German, Polish, Lithuanian, Spanish,and Chilean and that is just from what I know.

At night, when I think about all of these distant ancestors, I imagine them as beautiful stars, ceaselessly twinkling above my bed, until the whole room is filled with the glittering distant constellations of this baby's entire universe. I wonder about the secrets of their entombed hearts, if they ever knew a fierce burning passion and took their lovers name to the grave with them, and if ever they imagined the sheer magnitude and legacy of their mere existence,

for they helped me to create this tiny little nestling born of my solitary heart.

and yes, I do wish that there was another hand to press against my flesh and feel the wonderously magical fluttering beneath the surface of my maternal skin, and share in this tiny miracle that we created by accidental fate, but alas there is just the silhouette of my hands. and yes, sometimes I do feel lonely, but then there is another series of gentle kicks and I realize, with a start that I truly SHALL never again, be alone.

Merry Christmas, My beautiful one.

you have given me so many gifts. already.

and I am overwhelmed with gratitude for you.

In all my life, I never ever imagined that I would ever hold something so precious and know that it was mine. and mine alone.

For once I was numb and now I can feel.

and now and forever more my heart is your's to own.

and so tonight, my little sleeping angel, just like every night now, I shall seek you out amongst all of the shimmering stars.

old starlight - new starbright

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