prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2004-05-02 - 7:46 p.m.
I never knew love could be like this. We are home.
Sierra Brooke Estrella has officially arrived.
Back in Sept, when I had just found out that I was pregnant, I remember thinking that the baby would arrive around the same time as the tulips will that I planted in my front and back yard.
On the way to the hospital, early Weds morning, there were still a few light snow flurries.
Every morning, for the past few weeks, i would look at the tulip buds outside the kitchen window. and think. soon. it will be time. but it seemed like that day would never arrive.
36 hours of labor.
one blissful epidural.
8 pushes.
and then, the most beautiful baby in the world was born.
She was ashen grey when they lifted her onto my stomach.
under the warming lights, she bloomed a full amber pink and took my breath away.
She was born eyes wide open and has a full head of black hair, and the sweetest rosebud cupid bowed lips that I have ever seen and chubby chubby cheeks that drip from the sides of her face and oh to say she is exquisite is a mother's right.
She weighs 9 lbs 9 ounces and was delivered into my open arms with all my love at 9:35 pm,on April 29, 2004.
We came home yesterday.
All the tulips were in bloom.
all is as it should be.
I ache with the weight of loving her this much.
*Pictures coming soon *
____________________________________
SierraPoem
by the light
of the voyeur moon
I bear down,
trying to deliver you
from deep within
my pulsing womb
the bones do not open
we are still one
pushed to the edge
by pain and exhaustion
I watch from the ledge
outside the sterile room
I float above the vessel
my body has become
I am ocean
I am stars
I am life
and you are my
creation
the bundle
of my heart
delivering unto me
your fluttering form
of sweet elation
between my thighs
you glide lower
appearing
with a mass of
chestnut curls
prisms of rainbows
in the crimson veil
you are rooted
and angry
to leave
your amber
sea shell home
everyone is screaming !!!
but between you and I
there is utter
silence
we are flesh
within
flesh
we are
still one
our heart beats
in perfect
unison
I breathe
for us both
you resist
and insist
that
you are
tethered
to the bone
I beseech you
little one,
come to me
come into this light
I do not know
how your life
will unfold
you are as yet,
a story
untold
you have a name
love waits for you
I am your mommy
little one
and I will always
be your home
the narrow road
is the path you seek
push through the jagged
pelvic gates
I will bear this pain for us both
not a moment too soon,
please move swiftly, do not bid us wait!
I am my mother giving birth to me
I am my grandmother giving birth to us.
I am a godess giving birth to the
whole of the mandarin sky
my breath comes gasping
as the pain comes lashing
in sharp angles of fire
and it is you
who takes the lead
you move into place
with an angels divine grace
and slip through the thin
glass membrane
shattering
the walls of barbed wire
setting us free
you tumble like a wildflower
you bounce like a red ball
we are undone
You have PUSHED THROUGH!
we have become one
and one
look at you
breathing
on your own!
I call your name,
the sound
making my heart soar
turning your head quizzacally
at the lilt of my voice
we have become one/two
no longer do I think
for both of us
suddenly, I realize
with a heartbreaking start
that your first step
towards me
is also,
your first step
away from me
spreading
us
lifetimes
apart~
old starlight - new starbright
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