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prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2004-06-25 - 12:07 p.m.
Last night, I brought Sierra to Greenwich, to meet the family that I used to work for.
I presented Sierra in a beautiful white dress trimmed in tiny embroidered flowers and with a sweet white bow in her hair. She looked gorgeous and offered up smiles and coos for all.
But as I looked around the once familiar room, my heart sank. What once was home, is no more. The children have grown up from the babies that I once cared for, into lovely polite young adults.
I used to view greenwich as my gilded cage, ornate and lovely, but suffucating and suppressive, stealing my youth a piece at a time.
when the night came to a close, and I tucked my precious sierra back into her nestling carseat, the air was still and oppresive with the humid evening air. The green lushness of the hills were spread at my feet, and as I began to drive away, the breeze ruffled our hair. I could feel the closing of the gates, 7 years of my life sealing shut forever.
and in the blackness of night. I saw a shadow moving swiftly. I slammed the brakes and a big beautiful deer, ran swiftly across the road, followed trepadaciously by a tiny newborn fawn.
My heart leapt with the beauty of the moment, and yet I felt fearful at the exquisite vulnerability of these maginificent creatures. The fawn seemed so small and unsteady on it's feet. The mother waited in the distance until the baby was safely across the heavily wooded road and together they raced off into the great distance of uncertainty.
I glimpsed my life in that instance. Sierra is my tiny treasure. I must make sure she safely crosses so many dangerous roads. Someday I will only be watching from the great distance.
I already am.
and just as I the tears sprang to my eyes, my darling baby cooed. and I slowly started to drive again.towards my new life.
Sierra and I .
into the blue night of uncertainty.
but always. following my one true star.
old starlight - new starbright
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