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prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2004-10-15 - 8:30 p.m.
All of these moments, each more joyous and profound than the one before, and I am scooping them up by the armful,stitching them into my memory, and trying so hard to linger in the sweet simpleness of my new life.
for so many years, I was so desperately unhappy, weighted down with layers and layers of sadness and hurt, the pain a stabbing unrelenting hum inside my head..
that even in the midst of so many wonderous moments, I have to remind myself that it is ok to be happy, it is ok to love my baby this much... and want to constantly kiss her smiling face and hold her and hold her and hold her and never let go.
every night i have to stop myself from the fear that she won't be there in the morning... some part of me almost believes that I don't deserve her, that i can't possibly have something this beautiful and precious in my life.
In my previous existence, before my baby arrived, I filled up on so much empty, gorging myself with the burden of shiny expensive posessions... and
then, out of nowhere, this exquisite little angel appeared.
and my whole glass world was forever altered.
And she cost me everything, and gave me so much more.
and now, everyday I am grateful for the abundance of her perfect beauty, for the sound of her laughter twinkling through the rooms, for the way her tiny hands grasp mine when she is falling asleep... I am discovering a new world of simplicity.,trying to linger in the moments of my new life, the french vanillaesque aroma of my morning cappucino, as I sneak back into my lavender bed, in the cool morning dawn, and curl up next to my perfect baby, and watch the morning news, with the world outside my window, and the hustle and bustle of life all around me... and nowhere else do I want to be.
but there with my baby. in the chill and comfort of our warm bed.
and waking up all over again, just to hold her soft innocence for another day.
I have never been poorer and yet, thanks to Sierra, truly I have never been richer in my entire life.
old starlight - new starbright
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