prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2005-01-27 - 10:17 a.m.
Sierra will be 9 months on Saturday, 9 months of life on the outside, hard to believe 18 months ago, she was just a speck, an unexpected guest at my birthday party a deux.. and ever since then, all of these days in between are just a haze of joy and elation and exhaustion and worry, constant unrelenting worry, the badge of any parent, earned from many trip's to the pediatrician and emergency room, when her scorching fever would not come down, holding her through the painful screams of double ear infections and the heart stopping, barking wet cough of the croup, and endless colds...so many colds, falling asleep clutching my poor, sweet, sick little baby who is clutching me back, for dear life...the rocking at midnight, the weary tears, and oh the majesty of her sweetly delivered kisses and grins, playing shadow puppets on the walls at 3 am, laughing hysterically at the ways she shakes her head and wags her shoulders and sways her hips and tries to sing along to dave matthews crooning from the cd player in a fruitless effort on my part to lull her back into a gentle sleep...
she can wave, she can clap, she can say "ma ma" and "da da" and "hi", she can walk along the edges of the room, surfing the sofa to the coffee table, and pridefully and skillfully manoever herself to her rocking horse, and then she is off to explore all of her copious toys... but she won't be left alone, not for a nano second, never can I sneak or creep away, she has me bewitched and besotted.. I am totally under her spell, I am her devoted prisoner,
my life is utterly consumed by these days..the seamlessness of all of these hours from morning to midnight and all of the in between,. how she giggles and squeals when you tickle her tummy, and in these exquisitely simple moments, I am transformed with contentment and elevated to a place that I have never tread upon before. a euphoria that is unexplainable and yet, so simply attainable whenever she is near
and, yet, inexplicably, there still is a sadness that penetrates my conquered heart. the malaise and melancholy of the knowledge that we are so fleeting. My baby is growing,sooooooo beautifully, and I am trying to freeze frame all of these precious memories.
my heart has never been so filled to the brim .by someone so deserving, so innocent, so perfect, someone who actually loves me back, someone whose eyes light up when I walk into the room
and I am scared. terrified.
to love this much.
she has rendered me weak and vulnerable, a baby can disarm you with a flash of their magnificent smile.
beware of babies !
for soemday they could rule the world!
trust me.
this much I know.
xo,
me
old starlight - new starbright
Click here to read the WendChymes archives
Please make a wish and sign my Guestbook!
(C) wendchymes 2008
