prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2004-06-16 - 4:19 p.m.
Life with sierra is still perfect and blissful, she is growing so fast, I try to hold onto each moment and linger in it's specialness.
When I wake up in the middle of the night, and see her sweet sleeping form, curled up next to me, I am in awe of her innocence and beauty. I can not believe that this is my baby. She holds so many secrets, that I am trying to unravel. She talks all of the time, making little cooing ah signs when she is happy, and more plaintive uh's when she is hungry. She seldom cries, but that is because I am always holding her, even when she is sleeping, she is in my arms.
I still can not get used to the way she looks at me, when I reenter the room, and she catches sight of me, the toothless gummy grin that spreads and shimmers like moonlight on water. She knows who I am, from just the sound of my voice. When she was first born, in this picture here.....
she turned her head towards the sound of my voice... when the nurses were drying her off. She recognized my voice.
and there is nothing in the world that compares to the love that you feel towards your child.
Romantic love may never be mine. but noone can ever take her away from me.
We are heading to Greenwich, tomorrow. Back to visit the life I once lived. The land where she was conceived. When I look into her eyes, I sometimes feel like I thieved her from someone, and I feel sad for her father, that he can not touch her face, or see her smile. I have come to love him, strangely, just the distant memory of him. because.
he accidently gave me the greatest gift in my life.
and I want to honour that. I want to honour him in her. I feel nothing but gratitude and tenderness. She has his nose and eyes. My chilean Guapa.
but her lips. her precious pink little mouth. is all mine. Someday, she will have words. and from that mouth, will come forth some of her secrets.
but not all. some she will keep for herself.
She is my beauty. my infinity. mi vida.
old starlight - new starbright
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