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prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2006-04-21 - 8:02 p.m.
It is hard to find words to fill these pages any more, that are not about sierra. because. my life is so full of sierra.
sierra in my dreams. sierra every moment of every day.. and sleeping next to her, means every second of my night.
She turns 2 in a few days. I have yet to be able to absorb the fact that my precious moonpie baby, is disappearing and this beautiful little girl ( with chestnut ringlets!) is emerging.
and oh she is loving and sweet, in a way that makes my heart overflow, and then melt away... she cares about everyone, and has a deep gentleness of spirit. and yet she is aso devilish and mischievous, with an ever present twinkle and the quick flash of a dimpled grin..
"I JUMP! Mommy! ". and she means, I just jumped. off the sofa! off the stairs! off the porch! off the deck, off the stone walls... jumping jumping jumping..
and dancing, always the dancing... and wanting me to dance with her, clumsy, awkward me. "UP UP UP MOMMY! Dance with me! " and so we dance. and twirl. and dance. and twirl, and fall down laughing.
she is making a tabula rasa of my past. Everyone I ever knew. ever loved, ever lost, they are probably all gone to me. forever~ so many faces of once upon a time friends , that chance and circumstance dictate that I will most likely never ever see again. and the fact is. She is making it all ok. again, to start over ... with so little... with nothing in the bank, with nooone to call. or visit or write.
so much of sierra. to fill my life up with.
so much love. that is real. and the sad little glimmers of poetry that I used to scribble on these walls. are disappearing.
I still miss. someone. sometimes. but I do not have the time. to let it consume me.
I think that I may have finally grown up. ( a little)
old starlight - new starbright
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