prayerful of dreams - 2008-06-28
preschool princess - 2008-06-16
life with my sweetheart - 2008-04-29
the fast approach of four - 2008-04-12
lighting up my own life - 2008-03-08
2002-04-02 - 9:35 p.m.
this is not a love letter. I have no love left. no words to string on pretty paper. no heart to paint. no emotions left to dip into. no fear of anything. no hope at all.
I have surrendered. You have won. You have outlasted me.
who ever knew unrequited love could be so exhausting?
If I had known, I never would have signed on.
I wish just once, though. you would have fucking noticed me.
long enough to realize that I was the only pure thing in your life.
my heart was innocent and kind. ( before attack dogs ate it whole)
my arms were open and loving. my mouth the best measure of your whole world.
the sight of your face silhouetted against the soft light of the lilac orchids in my room
always took my breath away.
and yet, you would rather sleep alone for a thousand years, than wake up beneath the luminous canopy of my smile.
So, then, why do you feed me whispers in the night, slivers of kisses poured down my honey glazed throat? Why do you pretend that I glitter BRIGHTER than any other star in your universe when I mean nothing more than a stolen hour ( upon hour)
how did I lose so much of myself in the simpleness of loving you?
little boy blue. little boy blue. this is me, still existing. still loving. you~
old starlight - new starbright
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